Voters’ Meeting Calm, Civil, and Productive

Voters' Meeting Calm, Civil, and Productive

Johnson City, KS – In what has been universally hailed as a modern miracle, the voters’ meeting this past Sunday at Immanuel Lutheran Church was civil, productive, and completely devoid of shouting and fistfights.

Starting precisely on time with 100% of voting members in attendance, the previous meeting’s minutes were approved with no delays or distractions.

Next, the attendees listened with rapt attention, interrupting only to ask insightful and pertinent questions, as each Committee and Board made their reports. All documentation was in order and each presentation was competently assembled and optimized for efficiency.

As the meeting progressed to New Business, church leadership braced themselves for an endless series of emotional arguments, off topic comments, and threats of violence. To the shock and surprise of all, even the most curmudgeonly members engaged in polite and reasonable discussions on topics ranging from increasing Pastoral compensation to incorporating contemporary music into regular worship services.

While onlookers stood by in stunned disbelief, the meeting concluded with a motion to adjourn, and after friendly handshakes and courteous small talk, everyone dispersed peacefully to enjoy the rest of their Sunday afternoon.

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