Miami, FL – Over 5,000 Lutherans departed Miami yesterday for the experience of a lifetime – an exclusive Lutheran Caribbean cruise!
The five-night cruise, a new venture between the Lutheran Travel Association and major cruise ship lines, promises to blend cruise ship amenities with traditional Lutheran frugality.
“Frankly, Lutherans are the most challenging customers we have ever served,” said cruise ship spokesperson Mark Sullivan. “We’ve pulled out all the stops to make this voyage a success.”
Major changes were made to attract Lutheran clientele. Entire restaurants on board were redesigned as potluck halls for Lutherans preferring to provide their own food while fellowshipping with other guests. The ship took on quadruple the normal coffee supply and installed a pipe organ to provide traditional liturgical worship services during the cruise.
Cruise ship officials also made significant alterations to onboard amenities to accommodate Lutheran humility and frugality. All restaurant patrons will be required to wash and dry their own dishes as well as conduct housekeeping service in their staterooms. 85% of the onboard entertainment was eliminated as it was deemed too crude or risque for more traditional Lutheran patrons. Instead, there will be a variety of activities to include quilting classes, heating and air conditioning efficiency lectures, and for the most adventurous – obscure hymn sing-a-longs!
“This is going to be the best vacation ever!” exclaimed guest Linda Perkins as she ran up the gangway with her husband, four children, and 10 quart slow cooker packed with cheesy tater tot casserole. “Honey, plug in the crock-pot for me. I’ve got Cruise Ship Choir practice in ten minutes!”Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!