Soup Supper Chaos Roils Congregation

Soup Supper Chaos Roils Congregation

Linn Grove, IN – Fellowship turned to chaos during a disastrous Lenten soup supper this past Wednesday.

Despite a sign-up sheet indicating a well-balanced and amply provided meal of soup, hot dish, side dishes, and dessert, the food on hand Wednesday night fell short of any true Lutheran’s most minimal potluck expectations.

In an event previously thought impossible, member absences and unauthorized substitutions resulted in a meal consisting completely of store bought fried chicken, supermarket deli steak fries, bags of off-brand potato chips, and dried out clearance cookies.

Rumbles of dissatisfaction grew to shouts of horror as word spread down the buffet line.

“Why didn’t Delores Hamilton bring her seven layer salad?” bemoaned Edna Martin. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week! Instead, she brought off-brand Oreos!”

The Lenten service was cancelled in the aftermath of the potluck debacle, as not a single member of the congregation could set aside their strong emotions to focus on their liturgical responsibilities.

The Board of Elders confirmed that 18 members have been targeted for immediate church discipline.

“What does it say about the condition of a person’s soul if they lack the integrity to bring what they indicated on the potluck sign up sheet?” asked Elder Harold Meyer. “Making sure this never happens again is my top priority.”

The Ladies Aid is in turmoil. Potluck Coordinator Angela Robertson has resigned and efforts to find a replacement have been unsuccessful.

As for future soup suppers? In the wake of this week’s debacle, all scheduled potlucks have been cancelled. In other related news, local grocery stores announced widespread layoffs and frozen tater tot inventory reductions.

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