Great Bend, KS – Church President Harold Richardson provoked a firestorm of outrage after declaring a congregational emergency late Friday night.
“We’ve got less than 9 days until the church’s anniversary potluck and the only things on the sign-up sheet are four bags of chips, a rotisserie chicken, and bagels,” said Harold. “We’ll confront this looming potluck crisis one way or another. I gave the congregation a chance. Now only far-reaching executive power can prevent this slow-cooker disaster.”
The church president’s declaration incited immediate condemnation from Church Council members and the Ladies Aid, who called it an unconstitutional abuse of his authority.
“Harold called me up at ten o’clock Friday night and ordered me to bring green bean casserole to the potluck next Sunday!” exclaimed outraged member Elaine Jackson. “I told him I was planning on bringing a dessert and he threatened to deny me the Lord’s Supper for a month!”
“We’re looking at our options,” said Elder Daniel Jackson. “I’d invoke the 25th Amendment, but no one else wants to be president!”Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!