Akron, OH – Shock and disbelief are reverberating around the city of Akron, Ohio in the wake of an unexpectedly generous tip by local Lutheran man Thomas Steele.
Mr. Steele, dining at a local Applebee’s with his wife and four children, reportedly threw down an outrageously generous tip of 16.5% after concluding his dinner Tuesday evening.
“Normally I calculate a pre-tax tip of exactly 12.00%, rounding down to the nearest cent, of course,” Mr. Steele commented. “I’m not sure what came over me last night! I can tell you this much, though. It will never happen again. I barely slept: the feelings of guilt and shame washing over me were almost too much to bear.”
An official at Immanuel Lutheran Church confirmed the obvious: that Mr. Steele’s recent disturbing and alarming actions will be immediately dealt with at the highest level.
“We’ve convened an emergency church council meeting to address these serious allegations,” the official commented. “The Board of Elders will be making this their top priority. Such a departure from traditional Lutheran frugality calls into question the condition of a man’s soul and eternal salvation. Please pray for our church as we enter this time of crisis.”
What does local Applebee’s server Amy Kozlowski have to say regarding the incident?
“That cheapskate? His whole family drank water, he made his two youngest children share a meal, and his so-called generous tip was still the worst of the night,” she said before slamming her front door shut.
Thomas, we’re glad you came back to your senses. Lutherans everywhere: heed this story as a warning, lest you fall into the same trap.Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!