El Paso, TX – Streaming from every corner of America, an army of Lutheran supporters of President Trump are beginning a massive construction project: completing the border wall between the United States and Mexico to the exacting standards of the Biblical walls of Jerusalem.
“Building a wall is actually very simple” said ardent Trump supporter and Director of Construction Pastor Stephen Boyd. “Look no further than the book of Nehemiah! Using the blueprints laid out in Scripture, we intend to complete the entire border wall in less than four months.”
The wall, designed after the reconstructed walls of the city of Jerusalem, will be made from locally available stone and measure 14 cubits thick by 27 cubits high.
“It will be wide enough for two chariots, I mean, trucks, to drive on top of,” added Pastor Boyd. “This wall will be patrolled in a way very similar to that in Nehemiah’s day.”
The volunteer force of over 20,000 people have already begun work, dividing into two main groups and building in both east and west directions simultaneously.
“Due to legal disputes regarding the exact placement of the border and the fact that this is an entirely volunteer force, we are running into no permit issues or mandated to meet OSHA requirements,” said Pastor Boyd. “As a result, we are able to work with unparalleled efficiency.”
What’s the word from Washington? While no official tweets have been released, the West Wing is said to be ‘completely ecstatic’ over the turn of events.
While one can debate the merit and morality of such a mission, there can be no denying one simple fact: a mobilized army of Lutherans can outproduce anyone on earth. That wall is as good as built.Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!