Ann Arbor, MI – Local Lutheran tenor Adrian Jenson is contemplating a life-long vow of silence after definitive proof arose this past week that his flawless, soaring tenor voice, does, in fact, induce pregnancy in women.
Described as possessing a voice that makes Andrea Bocelli sound like a tone deaf toddler, Adrian has been taking the Lutheran world by storm – leaving entire audiences of love-struck women sobbing unabashedly in his wake.
But now, DNA tests have confirmed that in a method unknown to science, the mere sound of Adrian’s voice soaring through heart-pounding tenor solos induces pregnancy in women, in some cases even over the radio.
Adrian is currently hiding his celestial voice in an undisclosed location as the number of single mothers and pregnant women continues to grow. No less than 147 women have come forward claiming to have carried Adrian’s child – many with definitive proof to include DNA tests, Adrian’s distinctive chin and nose, and the child’s ability to sing in perfect pitch from birth.
Who will take care of all these children? Who will support their mothers in their time of need? Only one thing is certain – if you have a daughter – grab a sledgehammer and destroy any Adrian Jenson CDs you have immediately!Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!