Hero or Villain? Local Lutheran Destroys Christmas Decorations Display

Hero or Villain? Local Lutheran Destroys Display of Christmas Decorations

Greenwood, WI – ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ played cheerily over store speakers, employees shouted with rage, and shoppers screamed in a mixture of terror and elation, as local Lutheran Timothy Gallatin delivered what many are calling ‘divine retribution’ at a local department store this past Thursday.

According to eyewitnesses, Timothy was overcome with righteous fury after stumbling across a recently installed display of Christmas decorations.

“Oh, come on!” he was heard loudly exclaiming to employees stocking tinsel and Christmas lights. “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet! Christmas decorations already?”

Storming to the home improvement section, Timothy braided a whip from extension cords, twisted the tines of a metal rake into a sickle, and returned to the Christmas section, commencing the wholesale destruction of all offensive Christmas decorations.

Sirens wailed and lights flashed as police raced to the scene. Storming into the store with guns drawn, the officers raced to the Christmas section.

“Arrest him!” screamed the manager.

Slowly the officers’ eyes passed over the shredded wrapping paper, shattered ornaments, and toppled Christmas trees. Surrounded by destruction, Timothy stood upright, still as a statue, homemade whip and sickle in hand.

“I see no need to arrest this man,” the lead officer said. “What crime has he committed?”

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