Grandma’s Secret Recipe Dessert Revealed to be Store Bought Pie

Grandma's Secret Recipe Dessert Turns Out to be Store Bought Pie

Akron, OH – Succulent! Delicious! Mouth-watering! The countless accolades ascribed to Grandma Elaine Bremerton’s southern pecan pie were thrown to the wind on Thanksgiving after family members discovered the awful truth: that Elaine’s ‘secret recipe’ pie was actually purchased from the frozen food section of the grocery store.

“I’d wait with anticipation all year to have Grandma’s pecan pie,” bemoaned shattered nephew Noah Bremerton. “She said it was an ancient Pilgrim recipe! This is worse than finding out the truth about Santa Claus.”

Elaine’s pecan pies, renowned at family get-togethers and church potlucks alike, were universally praised for their light, flaky crust, sweet filling, and impeccably sliced pecans. However, everything went off the rails late on Thanksgiving Day after grandson John Bremerton discovered a piece of cardboard with nutritional information embedded in the crust of his pie. Following a brief investigation, Aunt Brenda found a recently discarded frozen pecan pie box buried at the bottom of the trash can in the kitchen.

“This is worse than finding out that Uncle Ross was a secret member of the Baptist Church!” bemoaned a distraught family member. “My entire childhood has been based on a lie.”

Church leadership confirmed the Board of Elders is now investigating Elaine, as she served her ‘secret recipe pecan pie’ at countless church gatherings.

“We’ve already taken away Elaine’s key to the church kitchen,” said Elder Robert Hamilton. “The Ladies Aid is in an uproar! I haven’t seen such anger since Edna Richardson brought chips to the anniversary potluck.”

On a side note, if you want to try Elaine’s secret pecan pie recipe, it’s on sale right now: two for $7.99 at your local grocery store!

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2 Comments on “Grandma’s Secret Recipe Dessert Revealed to be Store Bought Pie”

  1. Your articles are a riot! During our worship service the organist and myself (trumpet player) share the latest “news” during the sermon. Thanks! -Buzzing Lips –

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