Easter Flute Orchestra Falls Flat

Easter Flute Orchestra Falls Flat

Jackson, PA – Confusion, disappointment, and anger replaced Easter joy at St. Luke’s Lutheran Church in the wake of a catastrophic Easter morning service this past Sunday.

St. Luke’s, long known for its vibrant festival services full of booming organ selections, loud brass accompaniment, and powerful choral music, decided for some unfathomable reason to go in a completely different direction this year. In place of organ, brass, and choir, worship organizers assembled a 24 piece flute orchestra to accompany all congregational hymns and provide pre- and post- service music.

“What happened?” bemoaned Josephine Coleman, in town visiting her sister. “I’ve been visiting St. Luke’s every Easter for the last twelve years just to hear the music. The flutes were horrible! It was like listening to a bunch of people whistle out of tune! ‘Christ the Lord is Risen Today’ was the worst…”



Disappointed congregants, long accustomed to lifting their voices in joyous song with the sound of organ and trumpet, were reduced to singing in near whispers in an attempt to decipher the flute accompaniment.

“The flute orchestra proved to be a less effective medium to communicate our sense of Easter joy and triumph,” admitted Worship Committee President Alan Jacobson. “But look on the bright side – at least it wasn’t contemporary!”

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