Milwaukee, WI – After years of careful research, evaluation, and Biblical exegesis, Lutheran theologians confirmed today that the dirigible is now a doctrinally sound method of travel, finally joining the horse and buggy, early automobile without computer, and sailing ship as a Scripturally approved method of travel.
“Yes, I know that many Lutherans have been flying in the air for years,” said Pastor Eric Williams, head of the Lutheran Committee on Biblical Travel. “But at what cost to their faith and eternal salvation? Anything as new and potentially life altering as flight between earth and heaven requires careful prayer and examination of Scripture. The theological questions posed have taken decades to sort out, and we are still continuing. I know many people wish we could have granted approval to all modes of air transportation, including the helicopter and aeroplane, but we don’t want to hastily come to any conclusions.”
Pastor Williams confirmed that he and his staff of eighteen pastors will continue to wrestle with these and other deep theological issues, releasing Biblical verdicts on transportation by submarine, hydrofoil, and aquacar by early 2023.
“It is my distinct honor and privilege to use my years of ministry training and Biblical language expertise to assist Lutherans in this and other vital areas of their sanctified life,” he said. “Now, if you would excuse me, I have to scour the book of 1st Chronicles in preparation for my report on pontoon boats.”Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!