Desperate Family Burns Sunday School Crafts to Survive Polar Vortex

Desperate Family Burns Sunday School Crafts to Survive Polar Vortex

Big Falls, WI – Desperate times called for truly desperate measures. Near certain tragedy was averted this past Wednesday when the heat went out at the Miller’s house.

“It got so cold in the house we were taking turns sticking our heads in the refrigerator to warm up,” said Dan Miller. “Even the ketchup bottle was frozen solid! Thank goodness Dolores remembered the Sunday School crafts.”


The stacks of crumpled Sunday School lessons, heaps of popsicle stick crafts, and piles of glitter encrusted foam enabled the Millers to maintain a lifesaving fire for the next 36 hours until power was restored.

“That glitter burned so hot we had to back away from the fire!” said Dan. “The flames were pink and shooting purple sparks. Never seen anything like it! By the time the power came back on we were roasting hot dogs in shorts and t-shirts.”

“Sunday School crafts will do in a pinch,” said local Lutheran Amos Nelson. “But I would encourage any of our church’s contemporary musicians to burn their own guitars and drum sets first. I think they’d provide much better heat!”

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