Church Service Goes Too Long

church service goes too long

Mortons Gap, KY – A near riot broke out on Sunday when the church service stretched beyond one hour in length.

Apprehension grew as poor hymn selection, a lengthy sermon, and communion delays pushed the service later and later. As communion ended 58 minutes after the service began, any hope of leaving on time vanished.

Ushers and Elders pleaded for order as the tumult spread. Even Pastor’s announcement that the closing hymn would be suspended did little to calm the raucous crowd. Organist mutiny ensued as the postlude began midway through the closing prayer 63 minutes into the service and people rushed for the exits.

“Save yourselves! Every man for himself!” yelled Richard Harrington, a married father of three. Pushing aside the old and young alike, he herded his family to the door.

The chaos spread to the parking lot. Four people were injured and three car accidents occurred as congregants raced to salvage what was left of their Sunday.

Minutes later, it was all over. Pastor stared in disbelief across the empty sanctuary. Tires squealed in the distance as the last of the congregation fled the scene. Battered doors swung on their hinges and discarded hymnals littered the floor. Then he remembered what time it was and sprinted for the sacristy…football was on in less than an hour!

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2 Comments on “Church Service Goes Too Long”

  1. We once had a supply who preached for almost an hour! There nearly *was* mutiny in the pews. Add communion to that, and – well, let’s just say that supply has never been invited back, and leave it at that.

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