Willmar, MN – In what has been termed a ‘modern day miracle,’ the Christmas Eve children’s service was an uneventful, tremendous success.
“I was ready for anything,” said veteran teacher Elaine Jackson. “Last year we had three faintings, two throw-ups, and little Timmy Richardson took his pants off during the Luke 2 recitation. But this year, nothing! For once, I didn’t end my Christmas Eve sobbing on the couch with a glass of brandy.”
Teachers held their breath during the processional, remembering with vivid clarity the tragedy of 1996, when brothers Sam and Tom Jackson wrestled in the aisle while fighting over who got to walk up the steps first.
As the children flawlessly performed “Away in a Manger” (scene of the great mass fainting of 2012) and completed the pivotal Luke 2 recitation (home to the pant-less incident referenced above that will be forever seared into the church’s collective memory), the white knuckled grip and tension lines of the teachers began to ease in relaxation.
Unbelievably, the recessional went off without a hitch! Unlike the great screaming exodus of 1984, in which twelve children were trampled in the mad rush for candy bags, each and every child walked with calm and orderly precision out of the sanctuary.
“Now if only the adults behaved as well as the children,” bemoaned head usher Harold Grinsley. “We had to tackle three parents who started clapping at the end!”Want the latest news? Follow us on Facebook or Twitter!