Charismatic Snake-Handling Lutheran Church Closes

Charismatic Snake-Handling Lutheran Church Closes

Ellendale, ND – After twelve consecutive weeks of empty pews and no prospects, Cascabel Lutheran Church announced it will permanently close its doors, effective immediately.

Advertised as a compilation of Pentecostal tradition, Appalachian snake handling, and liturgical Lutheran worship, the church utterly failed to get off the ground in Ellendale, a small North Dakota town of 1,300 people.

“I was disappointed by the lack of interest,” said Cascabel Lutheran Church Pastor George Hensley. “What Lutheran can resist speaking in tongues, practicing divine healing, and handling venomous snakes, all while participating in the rich liturgical tradition handed down by our forefathers?”

What’s next for Pastor Hensley, and most importantly, the 38 venomous snakes that currently slither freely around the church sanctuary?

“I’m headed back to West Virginia,” Pastor Hensley said. “You want a snake? I can’t fit them all in the car. Not enough cages, you see. Whatever you don’t take, I’ll just let go in the ditch on my out of town.”

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