Bible Class Actually Begins On Time

Bible Class Actually Begins On Time

Sarasota, FL – Audible gasps rang out through the fellowship hall as Pastor Thomas Robinson stood up to begin Bible Class precisely on time at 9:15 AM.

“Good morning. Please open your Bibles to 1st Timothy chapter 3,” he announced as a shocked parishioner let a coffee mug fall to the floor with a loud crash.

“I can’t believe it,” said 79 year old Harold Phillips, shaking his head in disbelief. “We’ve never started before 9:30. He normally isn’t even here yet! We might just get through more than three questions today.”

According to witnesses, Pastor Robinson started Bible Class on time only once before, in November 2015, when he arrived at church one hour early due to confusion with Daylight Savings Time. A combination of copier difficulties, coffee maker malfunctions, car trouble, football game discussions, and incessant unrelated small talk have doomed every other Bible Class to an average start delay of 16 minutes.

“Perhaps we’re finally turning a corner,” exulted Elaine Hamilton, a regular Bible Class attendee.

Unfortunately, while Bible Class technically began on time, Pastor Robinson spent the first ten minutes summarizing the Packers’ chances against the Lions that afternoon.

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